There's a first time for everything

You might be thinking why have I started a blog. To be honest I've always liked the idea to share things whether it will be about my day, share moments of things I've learnt or just write whats in my head. I believe that writing is a great way to express ones emotion or just to put your thoughts on paper. For me I've always struggled with clarity and I hope as a start blogging this will help me build and grow in my confidence not just my writing but how i present myself to people. Soo.. I'm telling you now there might be some grammatical error or spelling- so please if you're a grammar nazi. The front door is just over there --> []

About me: I'm 23 born and raised in Australia and I'm in my last semester of university doing a Master of Teaching. Yes I'll be teacher- surprise kids! I'm a follower and lover of Jesus and I go to a local church at kingsgrove which I call my second home. So thats just a little intro about me- you might be asking so what will I be blogging about? Good question- pretty much what goes through my day to day, things I've felt been personally impacted whether it's something I hear or just been something I've been encouraged about. Spoilers *I wont be posting everyday, maybe weekly.... err monthly... no promises- Stay updated :)

I thought I'll begin by sharing a significant journey of my christian faith two years ago. As you may or may not have noticed the topic of this blog isn't just a cool title, but a course I attended that went for 2 months. So this course was done by my pastor who actually studied his theological studies in the US and participated in this same course 'How People Change'. Paul Tripp the writer of the book created this course in the hope that as followers of Jesus not only does our lives change, Jesus promises a changed heart- we as followers need him to change our hearts. Why? because we still live in a fallen world trapped by repetitive selfish behaviours- we continue to make sinful choices again and again and again. Paul Tripp says that scripture tells us that change is a process and not an event. Change is something we don't like, nobody likes change- It can disrupt how you do things, maybe it compromises who you are. That's why this course "How People Change" targets the root problem of a person, which is the heart.

When our core desires and motivations change, only then will behaviour follow- Paul Tripp

Kick-off: For the course to work we needed to pick a issue or problem that would be the project, mine was criticising people in the church. You might be thinking.. Wow... Really... Shouldn't you be loving people. Don't get me wrong, I love my church- like I said church it's my second home. But you know with family, there will be times when they will ignore you, fight with you and even upset you.

*two years ago* The issue started when I took my faith more seriously, which started at the beginning of university. I would attend the christian group there (CBM) and be actively involved with the group. I would attend the public meetings, student’s conferences, community groups and chat to other non-believers about my faith. I grew my knowledge and understanding of God and understood his big picture for us. Coming out of the many conferences, I would always feel I’ve being spiritual refreshed and challenged by God's word. This high would hit me back into ‘reality’ and I would examine the inconsistency from what the bible says to the church. I was disappointed and sad to see the lives of the people I knew lack the desire to make Jesus Lord in their lives but also what it means to live out radially for the gospel. One year I went to NTE (National Training Event) and my gosh it was one of the greatest conferences I been too. I'd describe it like MYC on roids. Everyone was fully engaged in the teaching, singing and sharing- I actually felt in my heart when Paul spoke to the believers that "All believers were one in heart and mind" Acts 4:32. However when I return back home the things that I shared to friends and family, the words just seemed foreign to them...and I also felt a little discourage when I realised only 2 out of the 36 uni students attended it, which ultimately made me judge other people.

*two months later* In the end, I came to realised my problem and taking on this project was hard- the first week when I shared this issue I bursted in tears. I knew what I was doing was hurting other people and I couldn't live with myself- I literally hated myself. As the weeks progressed, the issue became much harder to deal with and I knew this was going to be a rough journey. Long story short. What helped me throughout this process was to understand the root issue that was in my heart. God is sovereign, you are not.

God wants faithful servants not successful ones

All this time I wanted people to change, my desire was to control people and this led me to my downfall. Jesus is the judge and not me. Only Jesus can do that.. I was acting like God that I could change the hearts of people. I was to negative about myself that I was looking at my faults onto other people. The root problem was the desire to control (heart issue). My desire wasn't bad but I didn't let God take the wheel I didn't trust that He could do it. As I was unravelling this issue week by week, I felt a sense of peace and was reminded who was in charge. Through constant prayer and letting my problem go I was able to find an abundant of fruits that God has already blessed me in this community. Don't always look to the negatives.

This passage was a constant reminder even for me today that Jesus has taken our sin, our burden, everything, so that we don't need to worry- but to trust in Him.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.-Philippians 4:6-7