Relationship Goals

To be honest I wasn't really sure what I wanted to focus this blog on – currently I've been typing up the thoughts from my week and the things I've been learning (whether it's an encouragement from a person or something from yesterday's sermon). As you've been reading, most of my blog posts are just trains of thoughts from my week, ideas/concepts found in the bible, and answers to certain questions of life – especially questioning the things I'm searching for in life.

However, there is something that I would like to address and it has been something on the forefront of my mind for a while. It's a concept or notion (I have no idea how to express it), a word that speaks for many and has a lot of connotations good or bad. That notion is relationships or love. 

Normally I would find a renowned quote from a random that I would find on the net or use a well-known definition of the word relationships or love. But as I'm writing I would like you to find and define for yourself the meaning to these words. For some structure, I'm going to look at two things: first I'll be explaining from my own personal life on love, and second what the bible says about love.

You might be thinking why I put relationships and love together? It's not because I'm going to explain both notions separately or explaining which is better etc, but rather because I feel that both are needed for both notions to work harmoniously. In simple terms, they both need each other to function and work properly. For example, to love someone (or at least, to love someone well!) you need to get to know that person: finding similar interests, dislikes… there needs to be some sort of compatibility. You won't know these things if you're not in some sort of relationship; getting to know that person. However, you might be wondering if you can be in a relationship but have no sense of love?? And whilst that could be true, once you've found that you share similar interests and gotten to know who that person really is deep inside, they probably wouldn't be someone that you're going to be compatible with.

Getting that out of the way, my own personal life. You might be thinking, “this Danny Zhang guy, he's really an awesome man, he's so nice, every girl would want to have Danny Zhang”. Funnily enough, for my whole entire adolescence life I've never dated, never been in a relationship, and from this day I've still haven't. “WHAT! Really? But Danny Zhang is such an awesome dude, why wouldn't you?” Would you like to know why? I'm sure you're dying to know.... and here's why...... you’ll find out next week!

Jokes aside, back to serious mode. The reason why I haven't been in a relationship is because I don't need to be in one. This is where what I say can be dangerous: I'm not saying that “because I didn’t need one, it also meant that I didn’t desire to have one” – there were actually times where I did want one, but in the season of life and God's timing it didn't work out. Also, I get anxiety about that too. But anyways back to the subject – the reason why I didn't is because essentially I was selfish, self-absorbed, and as people know you need to be selfless for the other person you're looking for. And I wasn't ready....

On another note, I give thanks to God everyday because at the same time the reason why I don't need to seek love is because I get it already from my family. I don't want to get into the details of why my family loves me LOL but for those who know my family already, you might know why :)

An older brother told me this about love. The reason why people search for / have a longing for love or why they want to be in a relationship is for two reasons:

1. Family 

As I’ve already mentioned the reason I don't need to search for love is because I'm blessed to be in a family where I am loved! I feel secure, treasured, cared for, and know that at the end of the day whether I've punched my brother in the face or yelled at my parents, they will still love me, unconditionally. And I'm sorry if you don't have this same experience, but I feel that if love isn't found in the family at home first, the result will be you searching for it somewhere else – whether it be in your friends, girlfriend/boyfriend and the list goes on.

2. Loneliness 

Which leads to the second reason: loneliness. Brothers and Sisters, love doesn't cure the root of loneliness, remembering what I mentioned about love earlier. Loneliness is searching for something to be dependent on – so rather than solving it, it may burden the other person on the receiving end. If you’re feeling lonely, especially during this time of COVID (or whatever situation you're in) I encourage you to speak up and talk to someone because it only takes a friend to listen and care for you and even pray for you too. 

So then, what does the bible say about love? Instead of writing an essay about the love of God, I will end with a reflection on God's love and how I've been impacted by that. You could write an entire theological essay about this topic – which I don't want to do – but hopefully as you read and mediate on this, I hope these words and scripture will present how I've personally been impacted and felt the love of God and why it is something I am continuing to pursue – what it means and looks like to love God with all your heart, soul and mind.

“The world was never an enemy to be conquered by us. It is a battleground to be filled and loved. The world is occupied territory because we, its conquerors through Christ, occupy it.

When we worship God amidst the world, we are proclaiming love and order in the middle of fear and chaos. When we love others the same way Christ loved us, we are declaring victory over hatred. We do all this by faith in Jesus. That is our victory.

God is a victorious warrior. Only the victorious freely worship and find rest in Him.”

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.” 1 John 5:1-5

Amen.